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Saturday, April 20, 2013

Friday's Flash (AHHH! AHHH!) Fiction: Computers

Carrie could never get into computers, and she couldn't use them for her spells either. Books had always held the power of words, and words were used in spells. Every bookish wizardess from damn near the beginning of time and speech had known that. Pictograms were stories on cave walls. Chants and songs were stories with spoken power. But down on parchment they held the strength of ages. One with the Power could glean and feed on a hundred spells, from poetry to fiction.

But with computers...

Carrie prowled about the public library and fussed with a new stack of incoming donated books, as only a librarian wizardess could.

Damn computer wizards. Jobs had been a glutton. That FaceNovel or FacePaper or whatever guy was obviously a data wizard out of control. How many millions could he feed on now?

Damned computers.

One of the computers in the library—her library damnit—was on the fritz. One of those SpamBot spells no doubt, phishing for power in people's personal information. The middle aged woman at the computer blinked at the screen and tapped it. Mrs. Eldon was one of the library's regulars and was clueless about technology.

I have be pleased to give to you the sum of my inheritance as I be a young prince of Nigeria.

PENIS PILLS MAKE HER SCREAM

24 yo Russian lady bride

"Miss Warner," Mrs. Eldon said, poking the screen. "Can you fix this?"

Carrie had to fix this the only way possible. SpamBots were named by data wizards for a reason. Quickly, she dipped behind her desk and took out the can she had tucked behind the shelf. Holding her breath, she opened up the can of spam. Then with a wicked curse she hurled the contents at the computer.

The spam fizzled as the SpamBot's emails disappeared from the screen.

Mrs. Eldon stared at Carrie in astonishment and wiped a sticky bit of spam from her cheek.

Carrie cleared her throat in embarrassment.

Mrs. Eldon said, "Do you have anything to fix all those chain emails?"

Carrie nodded.

This time she warned Mrs. Eldon when she swung the chains at the computer.

346 words
_________________

Obviously, I was annoyed at all the freakin' spam I've had to go through lately...

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